Monday, July 31, 2006

Naked Neighbor story is coming (Sam), it just might be a few days.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Okay, okay, I'm back...

...assuming anyone's still out there after my extremely long posting hiatus.

I have a good story about my neighbor. But that's the next post. In saving it, I have a reason to come back. Because honestly, I haven't had a lot to say lately. Or maybe I've had a lot and, therefore, said nothing.

Spoiler: Sadness to come. Sorry.

The fact is, I've been kind of emotional the last week.

(Yes, I do hear those of you out there saying, "Just the last week? Seriously.")

When I decided to leave Florida, I knew I wanted to come back to Texas, I just didn't know where in Texas. I was leaning towards Austin because I think deep down, out of all of Texas, I'm probably really an Austin girl. Definitely not a Dallas girl. I prefer flip-flops to heels, jeans to skirts, and don't really need some label stamped across my purse 5,001 times in order to carry it out of the house. I get pedicures at Super Wal-Mart. Okay, I guess that makes me an Odessa girl. :)

But I chose Dallas for one very important reason: My sister lives here.

My sister has long been my best friend. The one person in the entire world I can count on. Before I moved here, we hadn't lived in the same town for almost 20 years. In fact, before I moved here, I hadn't lived anywhere near family in that same amount of time unless you count summers during college.

The last year and a half, I've finally had that. People I know I can rely on when my house is broken into or my car dies or I'm just feeling terrible and don't want to be alone. It's been an extremely bumpy ride since I moved here, but having them here has made it all infinitely better.

Tomorrow, that ends. Because tomorrow, my sister moves to Austin.

My brother-in-law took a job there a couple of months ago and has been living there since, coming back to Dallas on the weekends. It's been excruciating on my sister at home all week with a 5-year-old, a 3-year-old, and a 1-year-old.

I haven't been able to let her know how hard it is on me that she's leaving because she's so upset that she's leaving. So I've been strong and told her it will be okay, etc.

Last night I went to dinner with her and the kids, then over to the house to help her pack some things that the movers won't take. Because we were in get-it-done mode, she didn't cry at all, even when we said goodbye for the night. But I got in my car knowing it was the last time I would leave that house.

Tonight her husband is in town helping her pack. I've avoided calling her all night, even though I know I should be there helping as well. I just can't do it. Finally, a few minutes ago, I called. She was crying when she answered the phone. I asked if I could come help pack (even though I didn't want to). She said I didn't need to. "Unless you want to."

I paused.

"No," I said. "I really don't."

She said she knew I was probably tired. And then, for the first time since I saw the For Sale sign in their yard, I started crying too. I told her I didn't want to come because last night it was like we were just hanging out like we always do, and I left like I always would. But tonight... tonight it would be really leaving and I just didn't want to.

But I would if she needed me to.

Then, of course, we're both crying. Because, face it, not-even-a-little-deep-down, we're both ridiculously sensitive. We can only stay strong when we know the other needs us to.

I know it's probably not my best move, but I don't have it in me to be strong for both of us tonight and, if I go, I'll likely just upset us both more leaving her husband to pack while we clear out the Kleenex.

So I'm going to bed instead, with the knowledge that if something happens tonight, I can call on them for help. And if something happens tomorrow, I'm on my own.

Now aren't you all glad you asked me to post???

Upcoming: Naked Neighbors. It will be funny. I promise.