You know. Whatever.
I am not one who cries. Out of all of my best friends, maybe two have ever seen me cry anything resembling much (Kym, Carrie?). I cried a lot at one of my grandmothers' funerals. I cried for days straight when Larkin died. But regular life stuff rarely makes me cry. Almost never, really.
Today I have cried four times.
My eyes hurt now.
It's ridiculous.
There are a lot of reasons for it, but none of them particularly good or compelling. It's been an unbelievably busy and stressful week at work, but it culminated in a successful meeting (out of town, in front of the boss--and by that I do not mean my boss, but my boss's boss). Plenty of little reasons, and I guess they are just all adding up.
Still.
I'm a f*cking disaster. I would write it out. I don't care. It's just letters, it's just a word. But I know at least one of you cares at least 85%. I don't know why I care that you care, but sometimes I still do. Who knows why.
The last time I cried was several months ago after I told the last person I dated I didn't think we could be friends. I cried two tears--one from each eye--and that was it. We're friends anyway. Well, I haven't seen him in forever. But we're still friends. Anyway.
I don't cry.
But today I do. And it sucks. And it's stupid.
I hate being like this.
When I sober up, maybe I'll come back and delete this. Or maybe I won't. I just don't care anymore.
What I do care about right now: Amy, Jen, Tressie, Stacy... you guys are awesome. I'm lucky to have you.
I'm going out.
Today I have cried four times.
My eyes hurt now.
It's ridiculous.
There are a lot of reasons for it, but none of them particularly good or compelling. It's been an unbelievably busy and stressful week at work, but it culminated in a successful meeting (out of town, in front of the boss--and by that I do not mean my boss, but my boss's boss). Plenty of little reasons, and I guess they are just all adding up.
Still.
I'm a f*cking disaster. I would write it out. I don't care. It's just letters, it's just a word. But I know at least one of you cares at least 85%. I don't know why I care that you care, but sometimes I still do. Who knows why.
The last time I cried was several months ago after I told the last person I dated I didn't think we could be friends. I cried two tears--one from each eye--and that was it. We're friends anyway. Well, I haven't seen him in forever. But we're still friends. Anyway.
I don't cry.
But today I do. And it sucks. And it's stupid.
I hate being like this.
When I sober up, maybe I'll come back and delete this. Or maybe I won't. I just don't care anymore.
What I do care about right now: Amy, Jen, Tressie, Stacy... you guys are awesome. I'm lucky to have you.
I'm going out.
posted by pamela at 9:21 PM
5 Comments:
What's the story, morning glory? Why do you cry so....?
I looked out this morning and the sun was gone. Turned on some music to start my day
I lost myself in a familiar song
I closed my eyes and I slipped away...
When I'm tired and thinking cold
I hide in my music, forget the day
and dream of a girl I used to know
I closed my eyes and she slipped away...
She slippin' away. She slippin' away...
(why?)
There are things i could say, explanations or guesses, but they will all probably sound presumptious on my part, so i am going to keep my mouth shut.
Instead, I am sending you a hug from egypt.
*gives Pamela a huge bear hug*
And you are right,we do care!
Hope you feel better soon sweetie.
Ohh and for the record, I officially don't like anonymous.
I love you! Have sweet dreams!
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