Tongue Ranting

1. I hate how all food stings my tongue.

2. I hate that said stinging is all my fault for chain-eating those damn Wint-O-Green Lifesavers for months on end now and, as a result, stripping off my taste buds. Or something like that. Even when I don’t want any more of them, I eat more. I am currently on my second bag of 365 Lifesavers. I do know that’s not normal.

3. To add to the daily sting, I burned my tongue at lunch on my Cowboy Chicken veggies. I don’t like that. (Really, I hate it, but perhaps I’ve already surpassed my “hate” quotient for the list, since this is not, in theory, a list of things I hate that have to do with my tongue.) I read once that pouring sugar on a newly-burned tongue will reverse the effects of the burning. It doesn’t. But you still get to eat a whole pack of sugar and that I always like.

4. I hate that my tongue is naked of Lifesavers today as I left them all at home.

5. I am finding that the word “tongue” is starting to sound and look odder and odder with every typing of it. I actually find all mouth words to be slightly strange. Tongue. Mouth. Lips. Taste buds. Teeth.

6. Actually, “teeth” I like. That one’s fun to say as long as you don’t associate it with “dentist.”

7. “Odder” is an odd word if ever there were one. “Odder” and “odd word” sound interestingly similar. Perhaps interesting is a stretch.

8. Then again, if you say your own name enough times, that sounds weird, too.

9. Really, almost any word.

10. If you’ve read this far, I owe you 50 cents.