Now I Can Die

I spent the weekend in Austin where, let's face it, I should be living, and had the rare opportunity to head to 6th street with my sister-in-law Audrey on Saturday night. It was less crazy than I anticipated given that it was the closing night of the mega-music fest, South by Southwest (otherwise known as SXSW). It helped that we wound up on 4th street. Audrey and I had time to kill before her friends met up with us, and stumbled upon a pleasant outdoor patio bar with heat lamps and a series of bands scheduled to play for the evening. As we paid our $10 cover at 9:00, we noticed that Vanilla Ice was slated to play at 1AM. We thought, that's too bad; there's no way we'll still be here at 1, and it would be hilarious to see Vanilla Ice.

When Audrey's friends arrived, they said they always went to Cedar Creek (name of pleasant outdoor patio bar) and they wanted to go somewhere different. Tish, our leader, took us to a place called Foundations (that I think was on 5th but may have been on 6th) that epitomized Cheese. House music thumped out conversation; a couple of guys sporting excess hair gel thought a good pick-up technique would be walking up to Audrey and me and just dancing in front of us. Hmm. One more vodka down and, thankfully, Foundations was behind us.

Back to Cedar Creek just in time to see Blessid Union of Souls. They have a lovely song called "Delta Rain" that was nowhere in sight as they instead burst into their one hit, "Hey Leonardo" (as in: She likes me for me/not because I hang with Leonardo...). (Oh, okay, "I Believe" was a minor hit as well.) As it got closer to 1:00, the small patio filled with people and excitement. A small crowd gathered at the top of the staircase that led down to the patio, hoping to get their Ice fix for free. And then -- there he was: Vanilla Ice in all his 80s glory. He played a bunch of who-knows-what and then, the moment arrived. Ice, Ice, Baby. Vanilla dramatically sprayed the crowd with his water bottle, perhaps not realizing that that "crowd" was about 100 people, tops, all of whom paid ten bucks for the whole night. Still, I have now seen Vanilla Ice, in all of his pitiable flesh. (What does it say that I woke up singing "Hey Leonardo" instead of V.I.?)

As Tish said the next day, "I've now seen Vanilla Ice. I don't know if that's something to be excited about, or something to be really ashamed of."